I ended last month’s update declaring my intention to get my writing flow back. March was tough, the words were simply not coming. I hoped that composing my monthly short story for my writing group would loosen things up, and I made up my mind to not wait around to see if it worked. I blocked off time to sit and write. I had all my notes, my ideas, the stories still stuck at different parts waiting for me to finish them. I had book outlines, research, pictures and post-it-notes. I was ready to get through the jam, to start the rocks rolling downhill. I was willing to sacrifice quality for simply getting some words on the page.
Nothing came out. I stared at half-finished stories, outlines, and notes. I tapped the keys. I tried to free-write my way out. But no matter how I tried, the words refused to come out. I tried to edit and just could not find the groove. I tried to plan but the ideas hid from me.
Reading offered the same problem. I cannot keep my focus on the page, and when I can it is only in short bursts. That is something else that I have never experienced.
I have never had a stretch like this. There was always a way out. A short break, a change of tempo, a deadline, a new idea begging to be heard. These last two months have been the most unproductive I have ever experienced. I am not sure what the answer is.
So what did I accomplish in April? I helped a fellow writer sort out a troublesome plot. I did some research into small publishers, trying to find a few that I feel comfortable querying. And I managed to force out a short piece for my monthly group. That little story – titled Silver Thaw, at least for now – is about confronting guilt that has been shoved down. It was meant to be a horror story but came out more like a supernatural drama. It was well received, and I got some pointers from the group about how to make it closer to what I wanted.
The sole reason for the shift to a horror piece is to get it ready for a submission. In the course of doing searches for publishers, I found a nice little horror anthology with the theme “Something in the Water.” The deadline is the end of June (coinciding nicely with the last day of the school year) so I have some time to figure out a way to get that story where it needs to be. Of course, that depends on my ability to write more that a handful of words a day.
Maybe churning another blog post lamenting my inability to string more than a half-dozed words together will be enough to free up my mind. Maybe not. Even this 500-word post is a slog. I know that someday the dam will break & I will be able to be the writer (and reader) I have always been. But I don’t know how long it will take.
1 – Finish writing book 2 with at least two full rounds of edits. My editing projects are buried beneath the rubble of my blockage.
2 – Be at least halfway through writing book 3. You just read 500 more words about my unproductive streak. This won’t happen until I can break free of my block.
3 – Have at least two short stories accepted for publication. I am hopeful that I can break the logjam and find some places to send stories to. Wish me luck.
4 – Expand my search for someone to publish these YA stories. Rejections continue to pile up, more little red faces staring at me on my Query Tracker page. I am looking more into publishers that do not require agents, but given the huge number of scams and imposters, I am being extra diligent in choosing some.
5 – Average two additional blog posts a month outside of monthly updates and publication announcements. Okay, slow start with this. But it does say “average two additional blog posts a month.” I did that intentionally to give myself a little runway.
6 – Read 36 books. April reads: I did not finish a single book. (total for the year – 5)